Several years ago, my man took me to a show called "Defending the Caveman".
http://www.cavemania.com/
It's a great show, which I highly recommend as a good date for committed couples (not a great first date event). The show is a comic monologue about the different perspectives of the sexes, and how this leads to trouble between them. One point stuck with me, and sticks in me. To paraphase: If a group of women get together, and the chip bowl runs low, one member will just refill it thinking "I did a favor, and later someone will do a favor for everyone, etc," and all the others will think "Oh, she did a favor, and later I will return the favor," and all are satisfied, because they understand the rules. If a group of men are together, the conversation is more like, "Hey, the chip bowl is empty. Someone should fill that." "Hey, you gonna get some more chips?" "Well are you goin' to the kitchen soon?" "I dunno, you?" " Well, maybe I'll also get a beer, then I'll get the chips.....in awhile...maybe you should get the chips..." etc. There is haggling, because this is a competition, and eventually the bowl is filled, and all are satisfied, because they all understand the rules. When a man and a woman are together, and the chips run low - the woman fills the bowl and thinks, "I did a favor for him," etc. The man thinks, "YES! I won!"
At the time, I laughed, but it has stuck around my brain since, and just gnaws at me. Now, I know I am much to concerned about "being fair", but the idea of me schlepping, and him think "I won!" just throws me over the edge.
My good friend once said that she thought a good married couple is like the muppet song "But I like you.
"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQ0FgvRkbdw And I can agree with that to a large extent. It's okay if you like music boxes, while your partner likes a marching band. But it's not okay if your partner laughes at you every time you stop to listen to a music box. And if your partner's idea of a good time is to throw your music box under a marching band...
