Walls

 Hey, I painted my kitchen wall.  Actually, did it 2 weeks ago, over Chanukah.

I just did one accent wall (because it was easier, cheaper, cool, and quicker to paint back if my landlord disapproves).  I especially wanted to make a more definite separation between the kitchen and "dining area", which kind of blur together in this apartment.  The color always looks darker on the wall than on the sample chip, and it came out pinker that I thought, but really I am quite pleased.  This was one (heavy) coat of medium gloss paint.  I let it dry overnight, then added the decals.  There used to be a product called "wallies", made out of wall paper material, with water-soluble paste on the back, but I couldn't find those in any local stores.  The decals are pretty, and very easy to move, but slightly harder to work with since they are thinner, and just don't look as professional - if you look close at all, you can see they are stickers.  So I put them up relatively high instead of in the middle of the wall, or down along the side, as I originally intended.  Still, I am, again, pleased with the effect.

I really should have asked the landlord first, I just didn't even think about it.  Now I am hesitant to do more renovations without asking, but hesitant to ask, since I already painted a wall.  Oh well, I'm gonna see what more renovations I can do of the completely impermanent kind.  I bought a bookshelf off Craig's List yesterday - hideous, but practically free ($15). I actually saw 2 of the SAME ITEM for sale, both listed as in excellent condition, but didn't fit in with the owners' decor. 

I was hoping it would fit in my large closet, but it just misses. so now I am trying to decide 1) whether to put it up and where and 2) whether to try to buy shorter planks to replace these the long ones that came with it. Then I would need to borrow a drill and such, unless it fits Home Depot or Lowes pre-drilled shelf planks, which is not such a crazy thought. 

Totally random thought - when by oldest son was very little, he was friends with a granddaughter of  the Home Depot founder (technically, one of the 2 founders) and we joked about him marrying into the Home Depot dynasty. One of the many alternate realities that don't appear to be my own.

I really wanted to write about thoughts on the looming prospect of DATING.  But I changed my mind, and did something easier, so I can now go home and cook for shabbos.  But, maybe next time...

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Upbeat Lasagne

Okay, the subtitle of this blog says these are supposed to be (mainly) upbeat posts, and I feel that I have been pretty poor about that recently.  So, here are two happy dining experiences / hints I wanted to share.

Last night I went to a pot luck lunch party.  I spent the morning doing laundry, and at work, and got home with no time to spare.  "What can I bring for a Chanukah lunch?  I'm not gonna start deep-frying now, and I bet they already have the basics (and they did).  I don't have the produce for an interesting salad, and I'm not gonna start soaking lettuce, besides, I bet somebody else will bring that too (and they did).  Well, I have lots of assorted dairy (from the last time a friend went to the big kosher supermarket an hour away).  I have lots of tomato products, and I have no-boil lasagne noodles (note-to-self: tell goat story sometime). And since I am just going next door, I can let it cook while I am out."  Okay, here we go with my quick and clumsy lasagne; no big whoop if you already are used to making lasagne, this is just for those of you who might fear the task, especially if you wonder how there can be any consistancy with out meat.  Also, this will work with minimal dairy if you use tofu for the filling, although it doesn't taste half as good.  This is one of the first things I taught my son to cook start-to-finish.

Filling:  Blend together in food processor:

• one pound farmer's cheese, ricotta, or cottage cheese if you must, or tofu, or any combination.
• 2 eggs
• about 1 cup bread crumbs or cracker meal (we usually use saltines and left over bread, just throw it into the bood processor with the cheese)
• some (sorry I'm bad at measurements) salt, pepper, garden spices e.g. oregano, parsley, basil, marjoram. 
• Just enough water to get a thick paste that is spreadable.  Actually, if you have yoghurt, that is even better.

Sauce:
At least 24oz of spagetti or pizza sauce. 
What ever jarred sauce you have is okay, but you have to add at least 1/2 cup water per jar of sauce to properly soften the noodles.
I like to add a little red pepper paste, like 1Tbsp pepper/ 1cup tomato.  It's one of the things I usually have on hand.  You could also add any pepper dip, eggplant dip, pesto, you get the idea. something easy for YOU.

Spread:

• Very watery sauce
• noodles (try to not over-lap no-boil-noodles)
• sauce, some shredded cheese
• noodles
• filling
• a little more water
• noodles
• sauce 
• lots of shredded cheese

Cook covered at 350 for about 40 min.  Then cook uncovered at 425 for another 10 min to let the top solidify and cheese grill.

Okay this looks hard the way I wrote it, but it IS NOT HARD.  Really, as I said, it was one of the first things my teenage son would make regularly (most shabboses!)  Just go with the some-of-this-some-of -that flow, if you can.  It does make a big mess, be prepared for big clean-up.


Next hint is much simpler.  Fell into this in another "what have I got here?" happenstance.
Best simple dessert: cranberry sauce parfait.

Fill a wine glass with whole cranberry sauce (use the recipe on the bag of cranberries - it is super easy, or canned if you must);
Cover with a layer of manderine oranges or crushed pineapple or similar canned fruit;
Scoop on a dollop of whipped topping.
Yum, yum, yum, looks pretty, super quick, adults and kids both love it.

Okay, be happy.

Didn't mean to go here..same old, same old

Okay, here is one of my ugly big secrets...I find no joy in any Jewish holidays.  Or any secular holidays, or any any-holidays for that matter.  But It is the dull thud of the Jewish holidays that carries, in addition to the depression, the fear of stigma.  It's like a grade school child, who raises no eyebrows for saying "I hate math," but can't admit "I hate recess," without being labeled 'odd'.  (BTW, guess which way I went in grade-school.)

This all comes down to my same old rant:  as a child, I saw what all my friends had that I did not, comforted myself with the assurance "You will make it so for yourself and your children when YOU are the parent," and I did not live up to my own expectations.

I have been trying for the past few years to make a small party of friends on Chanukkah, since there isn't any family close enough to be willing to schelp out to my (our) tiny place for one night.  I don't even know if there will be occasion for that little party this year.  We will see.  I have so much catch-up to do at work, and I missed my oppurtunity to do laundry last night, since I had to wait until shabbos was over to light candles, and then to sit with the chanukkah candles, and by then, it was unlikely I could make the cut-off for 'last loads' at the laundry-mat.  On the upside, I did have a very fun time playing Scribblish

with friends (great game for a mix of adults and kids of reading age!) And today I have another party with friends, and a party at the shul I miiiight go to (mainly for the Chinese buffet).  So I'm not just dumping and saying to hell with it.  But honestly, the feeling of 'gratitude and joy for the miracles of long ago' is just not there.  I would rather have the time to fix up my graphs at work, and paint my kitchen, instead of sitting by the menorah.

I have been thinking about a young woman I ran into last week.  I used to see her fairly often, walking with her husband around the neighborhood.  "I haven't seen you for awhile," I said, assuming this was true because I had been out of the neighborhood for the past year.
"No, I haven't been around, I moved back with my parents."
Oh...So, I am trying to make benign sympathetic small talk, while she tells me all her circumstances.  And she tells me, among the rest "I have decided not to be orthodox for now."
Now, this is a very young woman, and I will give her some slack in the semantics of her statement, and the apparent depth of thought, so I am no longer considering her case in the post.  But for MYSELF, the concept of "deciding" not to be orthodox seems hollow.  Deciding not to "act" orthodox is a clear deal, with several obvious reasons; the two biggest being:
1) you don't believe the orthodox vision life, the universe, and everythign to be true, or
2) even though you do believe orthodox Judaism to be correct, you don't want to follow the laws.
I know, I know these are huge categories.  And included in the first would be the person, who just never thinks deeply about it at all, people who think that all branches of major religions have got it wrong, etc, etc, etc.  Right now, I hope that I am still following the laws properly, and not going slack.  I am occasionally into the first group, maybe often, when I look at the state of Orthodox Judaism of the 21st century.  But I remember a sermon given by Rb. Ilon Feldman, many years ago.  I can't remember anything, except the conclusion: "Many people rationalize  'well, I believe in God and torah, but I just can't follow all the commandments, that's not me.'  So what will be, when you fianlly go to heaven after 120 years?   The ministering angles will ask 'Did you keep the torah commandments?'
'No.'
'And why not?'
'Because that is not who I was.  I was a sinner.'  Is this the answer you want to give?"

Okay, as I keep saying, I'm not a good orator, so it comes out sounding shallow and flimsy.  But to me, it is powerful.  Anyway, I keep slogging along, because I really do believe it is the right thing to do, and somehow is fulfilling SOMETHING good for me and the universe, and really I want to please God the way one wants to please a friend or parent or some other allegory, but still the connection feels very slack.

Okay, I gotta get back to my laundry.

Quick old fogey Rant

Today when I came into work, I saw a whole bunch of out-of-service terminals, with a sign on each, explaining that the hospital has discontinued its "Electronic self check-in" system, in order to provide more personal service, yada, yada.  Thank goodness.  I don't care why they did it (my guess would be numorous mistakes and the extra man-hours of floaters to help the people "self-administering"), I am just happy to see the change.  I work in a cancer hospital, so the people coming in are usually older, and no one can be in a great state of mind coming for cancer treatment, so why make them go through this stupid puzzle of trying to fill out their own admission forms? 
I hate computers, have I mentioned?  I am old, and poor, and do not have internet connection at home, and I can never get phone numbers anymore, because the phone books have been put out of business, I guess, and have no way to reach people I don't already have listed in my phone, and often end up calling people out-of-state to ask, "will you look up a number for me?" 
There are other things too:  I can't find movie listings.  I can't just order things by phone, because there are no operators for some of these on-line-businesses.  Blah blah blah, but they all pale next to the phone-number hassle.
That's all - I guess I'm just waiting for the pendulum to swing back toward "faces" vs. wi-fi.