You Can Dance

...well, maybe you can.  I won't say it so definitively, because until a few years ago, I couldn't dance.

Who get's this reference?

Let me qualify that:  I couldn't dance in public, unless I had some very structured choreography - then I would have a blast dancing.  Simcha dancing - great! as long as I had already practiced it enough, or it was almost as easy as the yeshiva-stomp.  I loved it, and would willingly dance for hours.  But any kind of free-style dancing left me feeling terribly insecure and ungainly.  I loved watching my college roommate dance, she was so fluid and free (which I think would have surprised many people).  I wanted to dance just like her, but somehow I couldn't get the moves.  Ironically, she liked to mimic my silly dance moves, that I did in the privacy of our dorm-room.  But she made them look so much better, in my mind anyway.

The few free style dance sessions I attended were a total flop.  The instructions to "just be free" was the least helpful comment possible - then I would feel stupid using unstructured AND structured moves.   I was left feeling like I was just unattractively jumping or wriggling.

There was a very insightful blog post floating around a couple years back, about how uncomfortable people are dancing at weddings now-a-days. If I recall correctly, a young man was lamenting the disappearance of any kind of formal or set dance at the average white American wedding, which left most people floundering around, worrying that they will look as ridiculous in the wedding video as everyone looks in wedding videos, especially in years after to the event.

So when my friend asked me to join her in taking belly dance lessons, I readily accepted.  What we learned was American Tribal belly dance, which is an improvisational lead-and-follow style with a standard vocabulary of moves.  To me, it is almost like a game of follow the leader, but beautiful and intimate (with your fellow dancers) and expressive.  The standard vocabulary is what made it great for me - I had "moves" to use as I wished, so I didn't have to be entirely dependant on my own creativity.  I "belly danced" at wedding and parties, but mostly with partners who also know American Tribal. But eventually the comfort seemed to ooze into my being.  Over years, I have become more willing to just "dance" at weddings, in whatever fashion works with the other ladies with whom I partner.

This past week, a good friend who feels a great desire to dance, told me she had found a group of women who hold a regularly-scheduled, open, free-style dance gathering.  We went.  I danced.  The first couple minutes were a bit uncomfortable, and then... I let go.  It was great.  Much of the time I used "moves" from belly dance, or simcha dance, or aerobic dance routines.  And sometimes I just moved around in ways that felt physically good and stretchy.  Sometimes I was a little interpretive, with songs and lyrics I knew and loved.  And sometimes I just danced happy in Po's frolicing style - which always reminds me of Michael Palin's ex-leper.  I can't say I was completely un-chained, but I certainly enjoyed the time immensely.  I still spent a little time just watching the other dancers - I hope that isn't a faux-pas, because I do enjoy that part too.  I was really surprised.  I can dance.

Just as an after-thought, I do have wonderfully memories of dancing with just one or two close friends around.  So so so good, that I fiercely long to dance with those friends again.  I hope you recognize yourselves, and I so hope to see it come true.