How do I get rid of THESE before Pesach?

I used to have a coworker, a very sweet, smart young man,of Italian decent, who I believe had never been more than 300 miles from home, and never wanted to (although that all changed before we both left the lab, but that is another story).  So, one day, he asked me, “have you ever eaten a bagel with cream cheese?”

I thought this must be the set up of some joke.  “Sure, of course I have.”

“I don’t get it.  How can people eat that?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Cream cheese doesn’t fit on something sweet.”

“Sweet?  Bagels aren’t sweet… Wait, what kind of bagel do you get?”

“Usually blueberry.  Sometimes raisin.”

“Eww, well no wonder.  Those aren’t bagels!  Raisin bagels are an abomination of nature!”

So I was in the bakery the other day, saw packages of bagel half dozens.  Thought this would be a nice simple lunch treat.  And what do you know – I thought they were pumpernickel  swirl!  Cut them open, Eww!  Raisin.  They should mark those things clearly, it ought’a be some kind of law!