Not a smiley day

I am usually a smiley person.  Not bubbly, but smiley.  I would say the majority of employees, at the fairly large institution where I work, know me and will give me some friendly recognition when I pass.  Part of this, I'm sure is because of my somewhat unconventional garb, and because I've been here over a decade now, but I think a lot of it is because I usually give everyone a smile, and often a greeting.  I don't do it for any ulterior reason, it's just who I am.  But it's a quality I am pleased with. The 1st century scholar Shammai taught the virtue to "greet everyone with a pleasant face."  Conversely, we learn elsewhere that we should not be overly friendly or chatty to the point of immodesty.  So...

I just heard an article on the radio with Jane Hyun, author of "Breaking the Bamboo Ceiling.
http://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Bamboo-Ceiling-Career-Strategies/dp/0060731192
One of the things she spoke about was the norm in many Asian cultures to  keep a blank face.  To walk around in public with a smile on your face is unusual; it is not percieved as friendly, but rather crazy.  I have heard this about Northern European cultures as well.  I don't know about any place else.  There used to be an upper level manager here that would go into "super smiley" mode when he passed someone.  "HelLO There! How are YOU?!"   I'm sure he learned to do this at some management seminar.  He seemed like a nice guy, but the sudden change of face, like a mask coming over him, was creepy, very ingenuous.

Years ago, a total  stranger passing me said "Hey, why don't you smile?"  I'm not sure what I replied at the time, but I thought he was a complete jerk.  I thought later that I should have lectured him that if he wanted to ask for a smile *from* me, the way to do that is to give a smile *to* me, and then I may respond to this request or ignore it.  Like if you drop in on a friend's house, and you want to taste some food you see, you don't say "Hey, gimme some of that."  You may say "Oh, that looks (smells) delicious."  This gives the friend the polite options of fulfilling the request  with "Oh, please sit down and have a taste," or instead rejecting it with "thank you," and then moving on to other topics.  Plus you just shouldn't accost strangers! Okay that was a tangent on manners.

 On the other hand, a really nice memory was the time I was walking towards a guy on the corner, in a crazy advertizing get up, who had such a pleasent friendly expression on his face, that I couldn't help smiling extra wide.  "You have a beautiful smile this morning" he said.  "I was about to say the exact same thing to you," I answered truthfully.

Being regularly smiley has several possible downsides.  One is people assume you are happy.  Maybe that doesn't seem like a downside.  Well it is.  Another thing, is I feel extra rude if I do not smile some days.  Yesterday was a bad day, there was a terrible tragedy in my extended community, and I could not shake it out of my mind.  I felt scared and angry and horrible.  And I couldn't smile at the other people in the lab, the custodian who is always so friendly, the delivery man, the cashier in the supermarket.  I felt that they thought I was being downright nasty.
So...
I going to Harry Potter tonight, I hope.  Then maybe I will come into work smiley again.