About a year ago, I finally asked for a surrogate mother. I went to the older, well-respected women in whom I confided, in whose house I took refuge, who was one of the mediators when I still trying to work out the marriage. Even though we were already close, I asked for a further step.
"I am jealous of these other women who tell me about their surrogate parents, the people who guided them in their journey toward a greater religious life, and became close enough to consider as family. So I went to Jewish day-school! I still need someone to go to for religious advice, intimate advice, general clarity and support!"
"Let me be that person," she answered on cue.
I haven't been good about following up and really strengthening the relationship in a filial manner. We are friends, close friends, but I don't run to her, or even speak to her, all THAT often.
This weekend, I received an insulting proposition. It was somewhere between a high school student asking his principal out to the movies, and the homeless man camping outside Sears yelling out "Hey, hot mama, wanna share my blanket?" I got a phone call from a third party, letting me know that a certain
man, whom she does not know well, asked if I was "available". I am well acquainted with this man, and this was completely inappropriate! In so many ways! The initial shock left me with only a flustered response "Just tell him I'm not divorced."
Oh no, what now? Who can help me? After several poor ideas, the answer hit. I ran to my surrogate mother.
"I got a call from 'Jane' yesterday. Her husband was approached by 'Plony', asking...if I am available."
"OH MY GOD!" dial, dial, dial. "'Mr. Surrogate', go find 'Plony' right now, and tell him not to ever approach 'Sweet Profusion' again. Tell him that she is not interested in seeing him socially, it is not happening now or ever in this life time." "Nebach..."
Let me tell you, I don't think anything this year has boosted my self-esteem the way that mother's righteously indignant "OMG!" did.
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