Maybe a Little Inspiration

BLI EIYIN HA'RAH  (get away, you evil eyes)!

I have to keep saying this loudly and clearly, because things seem to have fallen into place better than I could have possibly imagined, and I do not usually have this kind of mazal.  Okay, I take that back, I do seem to have lots of great things (jobs, last year's apartment, cake decorating classes) fall into my lap.  But my general state of being is usually pretty dark.  I have such a good feeling about the new apartment that I am worried worried.  Friends say "It's a new year; We have been praying for you; Your luck is changing."  But I remember the message , my fortune is to have a hard life, I can't trust that I have any power to overcome this fate.

We learn that fate is real, that the fortune of the nations is indeed written in the stars, but that the Jewish nation can overcome their fate.  As an aside, I think a lot of people have a hard time accepting that astrology is real (true astrology, that is, not the stuff in the newspaper; I don't know if there are still any people today who know how to interpret the stars), or that magic does exist and so we must really be careful not to use it.  Anyway, as a general rule, Jews can overcome their fate.  But still, this wasn't just a message interpreted by an astrologer, it was given to me by a personal messenger in a dream.

But the facts are: In 1week, I found a great apartment that had been not as great (yuck carpeting, paint, bathroom floor all replaced) when I saw it 1 1/2 months ago - right before the owner went out of the country and took it off the market, until last week when I looked at it again. It is on a nice block with great neighbors.  I got lots of stuff from the house, so the apt is furnished okay, I am quite pleased.  I didn't pay rent for Sept (although I used a lot of that for moving fees).  Most important, I have gotten lots of warmth and support from the community, and so I have a much better feeling about them than I had while I was in the house.  And I am happier and more optimistic than I have been in quite a while.

But I am spiritually numb.  It has been a shallow holiday season so far.  In my head, I can see God has been helping me, but I don't sense a presence close to me.  But maybe this story can inspire one of you.  May we all be sealed for a good and sweet year.