Time for a new year

It's that time of year, really my low point.  Everything I do is under the shadow of the wasband.  He is getting very aggressive about insisting getting the lion's share of time with and influence over the boys.  ("Aggressive" is the nice, conservative way of putting it.)  Plus I just switched lawyers, took a loan from the local g'mach and put a large balance on my credit card to pay for it, so money is sooo tight.  And I'm short and unhappy with the boys, and I am getting so tired.  I can barely get stuff done at work.

BUT, let's talk about something else (kinda').  This week on "This American Life," they replayed the article about brothers treating each other horribly.  The brothers being interviewed appear truly vicious as children, but the piece ends with the oldest brother, who seems to have initiated the fighting, saying that he thinks they are much closer as adults because they were so rough with each other while growing up.  I'd love to think this is true, because my guys seem to beat on one another ever moment possible.  My friend just told me about a beautiful park about 25min away where you can rent boats to go out on the nice little lake.  I took the boys out on Sunday.  We rented a paddle-boat, they peddled, I sat in back.  They bickered and fought and complained "it's hot; my knees hurt; I'm steering! no go back that way! stop pushing me! get your feet off there!I'm peddling! stop kicking the peddles! let's go back", the entire hour.  THE ENTIRE HOUR.  I just cried for the last 15min.  There is nothing I can do right, everything fails, I can't even give them a nice weekend before school starts, even if I go out, spend money, blah blah blah.  They bring the boat into the dock, we step off, and they say "That was fun."
"You're joking.  You fought the whole time.  That was miserable."
"No, that was good... Now we haveta walk all the way back??????Hey, I'm leading.No mom said to go the other way.Stop pushing me."whine whine whine

I dunno.  Was that a good day or not?

Oh 205.0
I lost the will for the moment.  Out cupboard is bare.  I really have never have so little in the house - I think I never restocked "staples" after last Pesach, or something, and I try not to go shopping anymore because I don't have money, even if I had the time. I don't even have noodles in the house!  We actually have have tasty meals, and not particularly high calorie, but not particularly low calorie.  The orchard we usually go to is less then 2 miles from the park mentioned above, so we picked plums - about 14lbs.  I froze down the majority, but we have each been eating over 10 plums per day.  I think the kids eat them not just because they like them and want SOMETHING to eat, but also don't want me to feel bad that I wasted money if a whole bunch are left to go rotten.

So I also try to think how all this adversity while they are young is probably building character, and bringing them closer...

Oh please God, bring a good year for all of us.